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The Strengths of Being an Anxious Dater

Photo by Vlada Karpovich

It's easy to focus on all your struggles as someone with an anxious attachment who is most likely highly sensitive. It's also great to try and heal your anxious attachment so you can experience secure love.

With that said, you're probably overlooking all the positives of who you are.

So let me remind you of several strengths of being an anxious dater:

You're willing to put effort into your relationships.

If you look up #anxiousattachment on Tiktok, there are over 703 million videos. If you look up #avoidantattachment, there are only 348 million. That's double the amount of content for anxiously attached people.

Statistically, anxiously attached people are more likely to seek guidance and work on becoming secure because it's in our nature. We want to channel that anxiety into an effort that helps us.

When it comes to our relationships, that effort can be a great thing, like bringing up conversations or pointing out areas for growth.

You're attuned to people's emotions.

Hyper-vigilance tends to be a common trait amongst anxiously attached folks. We notice people's body language and tone of voice intently.

While that can quickly become a self-sabotaging habit, it also means you're more likely to notice when your partner or friends are having a bad day. You may also find this characteristic about yourself helps in other areas like your job and family.

You love deep relationships.

Your desire for intimacy usually means that surface-level relationships don't do it for you. You're more interested in getting to know who someone is at their core.

There's nothing wrong with surface-level conversations, but it's beautiful to have deep connections with the people in your life; they tend to feel more fulfilling.

You tend to remember little things.

Our tendency to remember everything someone says means we also remember details that matter a lot to a person. You're probably great at giving gifts since you remember every time someone mentions something they like.

Or maybe you can quickly recall small details about someone's life. This kind of stuff makes a person feel special and cared for.

You're in touch with your emotions.

A lot of people struggle with recognizing and feeling their emotions. Us anxious folks? That's not a problem for us!

Though our emotions often feel overwhelming, at least you're able to feel them. Emotions are a unique part of being human. Even though there are plenty of emotions that don't feel good, experiencing them means you're processing them-- something plenty of people pay a therapist good money to help them do.

You're open to supporting others.

Because you are in touch with your emotions, you're more likely to be able to empathize with someone. You're probably the friend people come to for emotional support. You don't shy away from your friend's struggles.

The same goes for being there for your partner. Hopefully, they recognize the emotional support you give them because you understand how much it means to you when someone does the same.


If you struggle with feeling insecure and overthinking when you date, check out my free dating anxiety journal prompts.

If you want to move towards feeling confident and secure when looking for love, grab your copy of my 30-day dating guide, "From Anxious to Secure."

Pin this for later:

The positives behind having an anxious attachment style with dating


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