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The Power of Saying "No" in Dating

Photo by Vie Studio

Part of a thriving dating life is having enough energy for it to thrive.

If you’re constantly draining yourself by saying yes to things you don’t want to do or not upholding your boundaries, you’re going to feel insecure, unappreciated, and exhausted.

There’s a lot of power in saying “no” when it comes to dating.

Let’s talk about why it can be powerful for you.

You’ll feel respected.

Saying no is a form of boundary setting. If you don’t set boundaries, you’re going to start to feel disrespected, even if the other person doesn’t mean to be disrespectful.

By only saying yes to what’s within your boundaries, you’ll automatically feel more respected.

You won’t build resentment.

When you hold firmer boundaries and say no to things outside of them, you respect the other person as well.

People who tend to lean more anxious often make themselves comfortable for the sake of others’ comfort. But all that does is build resentment for the other person.

You’ll keep it real with the other person.

Imagine someone telling you yes to help you with something, merely because they don’t want to make you feel bad by saying no. That wouldn’t feel good, would it?

The same goes for when you say yes to people when you really want to say no. Be honest if you want to tell them no.

You’ll stay authentic to who you are.

The more you stray from your authentic self, the more insecure and anxious you’ll feel. By respecting when you want to say no, you stay true to your needs, desires, and boundaries.

You stay connected to your authentic self.

You’ll build trust with yourself.

Imagine if the person you trusted most (say, your friend or parent) continuously broke promises with you. It would suck, right? You’d have a hard time trusting them.

Well, that’s what happens when you’re unable to say no to people. By strengthening your “no" muscle, you build trust with yourself. And when you trust yourself, confidence will follow.

Tips for saying “no” more:

  • Don’t justify your “no” if it’s a boundary.

  • Don’t apologize for saying “no.”

  • Remember that you aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings and thoughts.

  • State your decisions confidently and kindly.


Check out my free dating anxiety journal prompts to help you understand yourself more and the changes you want. to make in dating.

If you want to move towards feeling confident and secure when looking for love, grab your copy of my 30-day dating guide "From Anxious to Secure."


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