Emotional availability is a big buzzword in the dating world but what it comes down to is a person who can experience a wide range of emotions and share healthy emotional connections.
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, emotional availability is a quality that will keep your connection strong and communication thriving. You may even find that a lot of the unhappiness you felt in past relationships was due to your exes' lack of emotional availability.
So, what signs can you look out for to tell if someone is emotionally available?
Emotionally available people talk about their feelings.
This may seem like the most obvious one. People who are in touch with their emotions and able to express them are more likely to talk to others about their feelings than those who aren't.
Even seemingly small moments where someone divulges their feelings to you are important to notice. If someone tells you about feeling disappointed after a work meeting or stressed about a family matter, that's a great sign!
Emotionally available people don't avoid serious conversations.
An emotionally available person won't be scared off by vulnerability. They won't avoid conversations about where the relationship is going or say what you want to hear to avoid arguments.
While someone emotionally available may not always say what you want to hear, they're open to communicating because they feel comfortable with you and want to deepen your bond.
Emotionally available people keep plans and are consistent.
A common characteristic of emotionally unavailable people is that they need space when feeling overwhelmed. If things feel too much for them, they're more likely to cancel plans or cut off communication for a bit.
On the flip side, someone who is emotionally available will create healthy boundaries from the start and, therefore, won't need to push you away. If they have to cancel plans, they'll give a reasonable excuse and reschedule. Whatever their communication habits may be, they'll be consistent,
Emotionally available people don't become defensive if your opinion differs from theirs.
Emotionally unavailable people tend not to know what to do with their emotions. They become reactive and easily jump into defense mode. This can easily be seen during disagreements.
Emotionally available people can disagree with someone without taking it personally. They might become heated if the topic is one that's close to them, but they won't resort to shutting off or putting you down as a result.
Emotionally available people make plans for the future with you.
Since emotionally available people aren't scared of intimacy, they're also not afraid of making plans for the future. They're comfortable with the natural progression that takes place when dating someone new.
If they like you and want to continue spending time with you, then making plans for the next month won't be an issue.
Emotionally available people introduce you to their friends.
While this alone isn't something only emotionally available people do, it's a good sign if they introduce you to their friends and are doing a few other things from this list.
There can be a lot of meaning tied to introducing someone to their friends. If that person doesn't want to be emotionally intimate with you, they'll avoid this at all costs. If they care about you and want their friends to experience those feelings, they'll happily introduce you.
Emotionally available people aren't hung up on a past relationship.
One of the biggest signs someone may not be emotionally available is that they talk a lot about their ex. It's okay to discuss past relationships to understand each other better, but complaining about an ex constantly or comparing you to them may indicate they aren't open to a new relationship.
If you struggle with feeling insecure and overthinking when you date, check out my free dating anxiety journal prompts.
If you want to move towards feeling confident and secure when looking for love, grab your copy of my 30-day dating guide, "From Anxious to Secure."