I hope you had a fantastic new year, whether that be at a club or staying inside and getting a full ten hours of sleep.
I'm sure your social media feeds are being flooded with new year's resolutions content. I'm not typically a fan of "resolutions" because they're vague and create more pressure than needed.
But I am a big fan of goals. And though time is a human construct, and you can create a goal any time of the year, you may have more motivation to make changes now.
Let's talk about some 2023 goals you can create for your love life:
Create boundaries, so you feel safe.
First off, what is a boundary? It's a line that you draw in terms of how you want to be treated by people. Some examples can be that you won't be made fun of, even if it's a joke. You can also create boundaries around how much alone time you need or what you're physically comfortable with.
Without boundaries, you may start to resent the people in your life. Everyone is different when it comes to what they feel comfortable with. Creating boundaries helps you feel safe and respected.
Ask for your needs from the beginning of meeting someone new.
You're creating the foundation for a potential future relationship from the first date. If you try to act carefree or like you're "low maintenance" when you're not (and btw, there's nothing wrong if you're not-- I'm not!), then you're more likely to find someone who doesn't like the real you.
Instead, a great 2023 goal could be to work on asking for your needs from the start. That could look like stating you prefer to text throughout the day or confiding in them when you've had a rough day. This even extends to asking for clarification about their feelings for you.
Learn to communicate better.
Communication is a skill. It's not something you are born knowing how to do; it's something you can learn and improve upon.
So why not make 2023 the year you become a great communicator?
Communication is key when it comes to relationships. Not just for your partner's sake but yours, too! It helps you understand your relationship better, lessen arguments, and deepen your connection.
Learn how to manage overthinking.
Notice I used the word "manage" and not "completely stop." There's nothing wrong with being someone who thinks about situations a lot. The issue is when overthinking causes you to feel insecure and unable to live in the present moment during things like dates and seeing your friends.
2023 can finally be the year you learn tools to help you lessen your overthinking!
Here are two you can start with:
5 Senses Mindfulness Technique
Is this coming from a place of fear or fact?
I also teach about overthinking and re-framing rejection in my dating guide, "From Anxious to Secure."
Spend less time on dating apps.
This may seem to contradict, but spending less time on dating apps could lead you to a happier dating life. Let me explain:
Dating apps can be exhausting. Seeing so many "possibilities" and still feeling like you're not finding someone can be disheartening. It can also affect your sense of self since dating apps tend to focus on superficial aspects.
If, after going on a dating app, you feel worse or you despise swiping on them, you may be experiencing dating app burnout.
2023 could be the year you focus less on apps and more on living your life. Join a club or start a new hobby. Focus on being approachable or starting conversations when you're out.
You may just find this drastically improves your dating life! Plus, the apps will always be waiting for you if you change your mind.
Break patterns of emotionally unavailable partners.
If you're constantly in relationships with people who aren't as emotionally available as you'd like, then I have good news: there are ways to break this pattern that are within your control!
A good place to start is understanding if you're emotionally unavailable and working to change that. Also, you can pinpoint red flags you may have ignored in the past and choices you made that allowed people to stay who weren't meeting your needs.
Patterns only continue if you allow them to.
If you struggle with feeling insecure and overthinking when you date, check out my free dating anxiety journal prompts to help you understand yourself more and the changes you want. to make in dating.
If you want to move towards feeling confident and secure when looking for love, grab your copy of my 30-day dating guide "From Anxious to Secure."